There's no way of writing this without sounding like an whining schmuck. So I'll say it straight. I am so sick of spending all these hot, summer days on beautiful beaches with breathtaking views.I know, I know, how ungrateful. But balance is the key to life. The doing and the being. I have finely tuned my talent for sitting around and just being. The problem with just being, although peaceful and relaxing in it's early stages, is that it can lead to some self absorbed big thinking. Too much self absorption eventually turns you into a puddle of existential angst, fretting over your life purpose and purpose in general. SO NOT FUN!
Self reflection does have it's benefits. Looking internally if things aren't going the way you want does provide you some insight on what needs changing. I used to thrive on change, but now that I'm a middle aged fart, I want things, well, the good things anyway, to stay exactly the same. When I turn on my computer and a window pops up telling me there's a newer version of Adobe Acrobat Reader, I just get pissed off. The version I have is perfectly fine. More change! why? and stop it already!
Change is the only constant. After a summer of thinking while sitting on all the pretty beaches I need to accept change and admit that what I've been doing isn't what I've been wanting to do. Puttering around the studio, drawing and painting and building little bits of this and that is okay, but something big is missing. If there wasn't, I'd be a lot farther along with my art. How I've been approaching art has been mostly a joyless endeavor for a long, long time.
I thought outside the box and decided to synthesize parts of my life into a creative project that's been on my mind for a few years. With it, I started a new blog under an alias. But I'm not going to tell you what it is, because I need the anonymity to 'get real' and not worry about offending anyone, or disclosing things too personal. Just letting you know what I've been doing, without letting you know what I've been doing. How's that for neurotic? Although, all this could just be a pre-menopausal midlife crisis. Will I regret all this in the morning?
Another neurotic - in song, Neurosis in D
*Warning - mature and not safe for work*
Self reflection does have it's benefits. Looking internally if things aren't going the way you want does provide you some insight on what needs changing. I used to thrive on change, but now that I'm a middle aged fart, I want things, well, the good things anyway, to stay exactly the same. When I turn on my computer and a window pops up telling me there's a newer version of Adobe Acrobat Reader, I just get pissed off. The version I have is perfectly fine. More change! why? and stop it already!
Change is the only constant. After a summer of thinking while sitting on all the pretty beaches I need to accept change and admit that what I've been doing isn't what I've been wanting to do. Puttering around the studio, drawing and painting and building little bits of this and that is okay, but something big is missing. If there wasn't, I'd be a lot farther along with my art. How I've been approaching art has been mostly a joyless endeavor for a long, long time.
I thought outside the box and decided to synthesize parts of my life into a creative project that's been on my mind for a few years. With it, I started a new blog under an alias. But I'm not going to tell you what it is, because I need the anonymity to 'get real' and not worry about offending anyone, or disclosing things too personal. Just letting you know what I've been doing, without letting you know what I've been doing. How's that for neurotic? Although, all this could just be a pre-menopausal midlife crisis. Will I regret all this in the morning?
Another neurotic - in song, Neurosis in D
*Warning - mature and not safe for work*
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