Cowboys in Suburbia

Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 words that would make me flee-

1) Fire!
2) Bomb!
3) Rodeo!

And rodeo it was last weekend. As much as I wanted to run away, I stubbornly stayed put, because having wasted that much money on admission, overpriced toxic food and carnival games, I was damn well going to see more than sheep and goats looking bored in barns (note to self: do not wear sandals to these events, hence the squishy stuff on the bottom of them).

We didn't last more than 15 minutes into the rodeo. When it comes to cowboys, I've discovered I'm not the only one with this aversion, at the very least, people don't seem to like hearing songs about them. Dave Soldier composed "The Most Unwanted Song" based on a poll of over 500 Americans. He concluded:

The most unwanted music is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and "elevator" music, and a children's choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays, and the most unwanted listening circumstances are involuntary exposure to commercials and elevator music. Therefore, it can be shown that if there is no covariance—someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ, for example—fewer than 200 individuals of the world's total population would enjoy this piece.

I challenge you to listen to it here. It won't be on any of my playlists but I appreciate the concept, absurd and ridiculous, words I relish.

If the world doesn't like cowboy lyrics, they must like cowboy photography. This photograph by Richard Prince sold for $1,280,000.

This print is "re-photography", appropriated from the Marlboro Man advertising. It's not so much about cowboys as it about pop culture and iconic images in American culture.

Now that you've had your fill of Cowboy conceptual art, I reckon this little lady better git herself some shut eye. I'm plum tuckered out. Before I do, if you want to insult some one in Old West slang, you can find what you need here. I think my favorite is, "His mustache smelled like a mildewed saddle blanket after it had been rid on a soreback hoss three hundred miles in August". Having been away from the internet for a while, I realize after coming back, I've gone a little crazy web surfing. I'm pretty sure I'll never look for another cowboy related link again. Later partner...